Everyone, meet Pudgie.
Pudgie is my roommate’s dog. If you didn’t know already, my roommate and I dated eons ago. Although I’ve always liked Pudgie, I wasn’t as fond of her when my roommate & I were a thing. She seemed a little too spoiled for my liking. However, after a year of living with Miss Pudgie, she is now officially my girl!
This little dog, who’s now a 13-year-old senior, is still a bright canine who has quite a bit of knowledge to offer. So, today I’m gonna share with you four things you can learn from a seasoned pug.
I cook a lot, and Pudgie always watches me when I’m in the kitchen. Not because she just wants to hang out but because she’s hoping I drop her some food.
During my first couple weeks here with my ex, I actually gave Pudgie a few drops of the food I was cooking. She would literally hang out in the kitchen an entire hour while I cooked, waiting for food. I felt bad and gave in to her. Apparently, my ex’s ex-bae used to regularly give Pudgie food when he cooked. Therefore, she likes to come into the kitchen when someone is whipping up a meal.
I quickly stopped giving her people food, though. Hell, I don’t even give my own dog people food. Giving dogs human food can turn them into beggars, and I certainly don’t want a dog staring at me the entire time I eat or cook.
As many months now that I’ve stopped dropping Pudgie food, she stills comes into the kitchen whenever I’m cooking. Sometimes I kick her out, but 5 minutes later she weasels her way right back in there, hoping that today will be the day that Toddley finally gives in again.
I must say that her determination is admirable. If my determination to lose was weight was as strong as her determination to get a chicken nugget, I would have finally brought sexy back by now. But since that hasn’t happened, I try to enjoy my noticeable, 6-packless belly.
How to Give Zero F*cks
Let me tell yall. This little pug snores louder than any grown man I’ve ever dated. And don’t let Pudgie and my roommate both be passed out on the couch. It sounds like a hog farm in this house.
You think Pudgie is embarrassed by her loud snoring, though? Please! Pudgie has no shame in her game. She snores, grunts, snorts and farts anytime any place. Pug hair don’t care.
She can’t help it of course just like us humans can’t help some of our imperfections. So, Miss Pudgie teaches us a good lesson in accepting who you are, flaws and all, and always staying true to yourself regardless of who you’re around.
How to Teach Someone a Lesson
Okay, so this no-nonsense little doggie got me all the way together one day! My roommate believes that if you give one dog a treat, you gotta give all the dogs in the house a treat. I didn’t share that same sentiment initially, but Pudgie sure did.
My own dog, Shay, has long Farrah Fawcett hair, and she also experienced some medical issues this past year. She hates whenever I brush her hair or give her medicine of any kind. So, I always give her a treat after subjecting her to such torture.
Pudgie, of course, loves to see me bust out Shay’s paw ointment because that means treat time! Well, this one day I decided not to give Pudgie a treat after I rubbed Shay with her medicine. I only gave Shay a treat, and the always hungry Miss Pudgie was not feeling that.
I enjoy giving a dog treats, but I look at them as just rewards. Giving Shay Shay a treat after giving her some medicine is a reward for being a good girl and enduring the miserable medicine process. If Pudgie is just sitting there watching, why does she need a treat?
So, this one day I told Pudgie, “You’re not getting a treat. You didn’t do anything. You didn’t take any medicine.” Then, I went on about my business.
Five minutes later, Pudgie’s still sitting in the kitchen looking at me like, “Where is my damn treat???” I reminded her again that she’s not getting one today, and then I took a shower.
After showering, I casually headed back to my room. My gut sensed that something wasn’t right though. I just so happened to look down before entering my room, and I’m so glad I did! There was a fresh pile of dog poop right there in my doorway. 😲
I looked back to see Miss Pudgie chilling on the sofa, tail wagging, and glaring at me with her little doggie smirk. She might can’t talk, but her face proudly said, “Next time give me my treat, bitch!”
Lesson learned! From that day on, when one pup got a treat, everyone got a freaking treat.
Despite Pudgie getting me in check about her treats, she’s actually one of the sweetest, most laidback dogs I’ve ever met. She is never aggressive, loves to cuddle, doesn’t bark ridiculously, and will even share her food with other dogs in the house. If you rub her belly, she’ll happily lick you in return too.
At 13-years-old, she doesn’t have time for any drama and negativity in her life. She’d rather relax and snuggle up against you over a good tv show. She’s a happy dog that just wants to be your friend regardless of your age, race, size, sexual orientation or any other attribute humans like to discriminate against.
If everyone was as friendly and chill as Pudgie, the world would be a much easier place.
So, the next time you feel like giving up, remember Pudgie and all the determined, carefree old pugs out there, and keep on pushing.
And if you’re feeling insecure, it’s okay. So what you’ve got love handles or snore louder than an Amtrak train, it’s really not that serious. Be like your four-legged buddies, and just relax, stay positive, and give a few less f*cks.
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