Happiness (Part 1)

Happiness is a choice. I have a wooden placard on the bottom of my entertainment center with that exact statement engraved on it. Although life can throw situations at us that cause uncontrollable unhappiness, for the most part, I truly do think happiness lies in our own hands.sunflower stuffed toy

I’ve mentioned before that I battle with social anxiety disorder. It’s something that has definitely been a root cause of unhappiness for me for many years. (A few blogs down the road, I will go into more details about my social anxiety). I try to be a positive guy, but sometimes it is hard. It’s been a struggle for me to stay positive over the last few years. I’ve dealt with breakups, dead end low-paying jobs, broken music dreams, and a job layoff…all on top of struggling with overall self-confidence. Things could have been worse; I won’t deny that. There are people out there facing hardships that I couldn’t even begin to imagine, but that still doesn’t discredit my own struggles. What’s a minor nuisance to one person, can be a major difficulty to someone else. So, I never judge people in regards to their struggles. You never really know how hard internally it may be for a person to cope with something.

Surprisingly though, despite all the distress I’ve felt over the past few years, I still sincerely believe there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. I don’t know where this light is coming from, but I swear I can faintly see it.

I feel lost many times. I’m in school now, and I’m proud to be educating myself and working towards a new career. Still though, sometimes I question my decision to go back to college. I wonder….did I choose the right major? Did I make a mistake taking out student loans? Will I get a good job? Can I really stick with this for four years? Why am I putting so much work into this instead of music? Should I just drop out and go be a truck driver? Will my parents be proud of me? These are questions I sincerely ask myself. I literally have to be my own shrink sometimes, when my mind starts thinking too much.

I have a dream I’m trying to fulfill though, and I’m trying my best not to let myself get off track. I really have a number of dreams. The overall dream though is to build a solid foundation for myself, and I honestly don’t think I can get it without some sort of education. I want to build a life of happiness.

Happiness…that word means different things to different people. Personally, I don’t think there’s one thing that makes a person happy. Happiness comes from a variety of things. To be truly happy, one has to be happy emotionally and financially as well happy in one’s career and relationships including family, friends, your significant other, and most importantly, the relationship with yourself. If you don’t love yourself, you’ll never allow yourself to receive happiness in all the other areas of your life. I know this all too well.

Anyhow, I could write forever on the topic of happiness. In fact, we might have to make this blog into a mini series. This is part 1. I’ll continue with part 2 either next week or in a few blogs from now 😉

Do yall have any thoughts on this thus far? What makes you happy? Do you think happiness is a choice? Toddley wants to know 🙂

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I Love Being Single…I Think

It’s another Monday night of fast food and fatigue. Mondays are a taxing day for me. I’m up at 5am to start work at 6am, and I have class at night on campus. Every Monday also follows my tiring schedule of 3rd shift hours on both Saturday and Sunday. By the time it reaches 9pm on a Monday night, I’m freaking beat! Things could be worse though, so I’m grateful.

As I write this blog, I’m sipping on a glass of Frontera brand Vintage Red wine. It’s cheap wine, but I like it. It serves its relaxation-inducing purpose. I also have the soothing, sweet sounds of 1960s Dionne Warwick playing in the background. As she eloquently serenades me with the lyrics of “Make It Easy On Yourself,” I can’t help but reflect on being single. This is the 1st time in years that I’ve been completely single….as in I’m not even dating, talking to, or “friends with benefitting” anyone. Overall, I love my freedom. It’s such a pleasure not to have to worry about anyone but myself. No arguments, no compromising, no wondering if they’re telling the truth, no worrying about if they’re cheating, no having to spend extra money on dates all the time….and most importantly, I have the bed all to myself 😉 I do what I want, how I want, whenever I want, and it’s fabulous!

However, there is one thing that being in a relationship provides that a pet, a career, money, partying, a hobby (or anything else we single people focus on to take our minds off of being single) simply can not. Companionship! Now don’t get me wrong, pets can be great companions, and they can certainly alleviate the loneliness of a night at home alone. But no matter how much I may talk to my dog and ask for her input, she just never has anything to say. Lol.

I miss having that one person around that I can always talk to. Whether I’m sad, pissed off, happy, or insanely excited, it’s nice to have that one person who’s always just as happy to provide a listening ear as you are to have them listen. Now that I’m juggling school, work, and living alone on an incredibly tight budget, I find myself wishing that I had a companion’s shoulder to lean on. Yes, I have friends and family, and I certainly do use them. But, it’s not the same as talking to your significant other. This is my 3rd semester in school, and I’m learning that the semesters are not getting any easier. They’re actually getting more challenging. I can’t help but wish for a partner to keep me encouraged.

Thankfully though, I’ve learned to be my own life coach. Every moment I feel like I want to quit, I give myself a pep talk and remind myself that despite all the stress, hard work will always pay off in the end. So although I may long for a significant other from time to time, I know I don’t need one to keep me focused on my journey. Still, it sure would be nice sometimes to have someone along for the ride 🙂

What are your thoughts? If you’re single, what do you miss most about a relationship? What do you love most about being single? If you’re in a relationship, do you miss anything about being single? Toddley wants to know.

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