One Night Stand Virgin

hotel bedroom
I have never had a one night stand………………..I’m giving you a few moments to pick your jaw back up. Lol. I know it may be surprising that a 33-year old single male has never had a one night stand before, but I promise you it’s the truth. I have never done a wham, bam, thank you ma’am (or sir…lol). Right after I started dating one of my ex’s, I told him that I’d never had a one night stand before. He immediately replied, “I’ll let you believe that lie.” Dude, seriously??? I was telling the truth, and I still am! Toddley is a one night stand virgin.

One night standing is something I’ve just never been able to bring myself to do, and my anxiety plays a big part of that. This is actually one of the few times I’m glad for my social anxiety. In general, I’m uncomfortable approaching strangers, but I’m nervous as hell to approach someone at the club or bar, and I pretty much never do. Whenever I go out clubbing, I always go with someone.

In fact, 2015 has marked the 1st time that I ever went clubbing solo in Atlanta, and I’ve been here nearly a decade 😮 On that historic night when I ventured out into the Atlanta nightlife alone, I was so proud of myself. I even went to two different clubs. I got eyed a lot, but no one approached me, nor did I approach anyone. Still, it was a major feat for me, and I was happy. #IDidThat 🙂

Plus, I’ve always been too paranoid about diseases to just randomly hook up with a stranger. So thank you, Anxiety, for keeping Toddley at bay. Lol.

Still, it seems like everybody and they mama has went home with somebody at least once in their lifetime. A friend of mine once told me that he’d slept with about 150 different guys, and that a friend of his had slept with around 300 guys. Huh???? How on earth does one accomplish that? Even an ex of mine decided to have a one night stand while on vacay, just so he can say he’d had one before. It was like a bucket list item for him.

bra hanging on doorIt doesn’t even matter what your race, ethnicity, or sexual orientation is either. One night stands do not discriminate. Straight people have them, gay people have them, black people have them, white people have them, Asian people have them….and the list goes on. An article on match.com even states that 44% of adults have had a one night stand. That’s a lot of people.

I applaud the one night standers out there. Y’all are braver than me. It takes a lot of courage and work to approach someone, make conversation, flirt, suggest going home w/ one another, figuring out whose house to go to or where to get a room (hell or even going to the bar’s bathroom for the truly freaky people out there), then actually going through whatever acts y’all choose to do, all while being complete strangers. Wow! Toddley can’t do it! Kudos to y’all though. Lol.

Maybe one day I’ll have a one night stand. It might be fun to do the walk of shame at least once in my life. Amber Rose sure seemed to enjoy it in her video for “Funny or Die.” If you haven’t seen it, it’s quite hilarious. I posted it below.

Where are my one night stand virgins? Am I the only oddball out here? Toddley wants to hear your thoughts on one night stands 🙂

**Warning** Video contains explicit language. **Warning**

**Sources

Milne, Carly. “10 Surprising Sex Facts.” Match.com. Match.com, L.L.C., n.d. Web. 29 Sept. 2015.

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I Love Being Single…I Think

It’s another Monday night of fast food and fatigue. Mondays are a taxing day for me. I’m up at 5am to start work at 6am, and I have class at night on campus. Every Monday also follows my tiring schedule of 3rd shift hours on both Saturday and Sunday. By the time it reaches 9pm on a Monday night, I’m freaking beat! Things could be worse though, so I’m grateful.

As I write this blog, I’m sipping on a glass of Frontera brand Vintage Red wine. It’s cheap wine, but I like it. It serves its relaxation-inducing purpose. I also have the soothing, sweet sounds of 1960s Dionne Warwick playing in the background. As she eloquently serenades me with the lyrics of “Make It Easy On Yourself,” I can’t help but reflect on being single. This is the 1st time in years that I’ve been completely single….as in I’m not even dating, talking to, or “friends with benefitting” anyone. Overall, I love my freedom. It’s such a pleasure not to have to worry about anyone but myself. No arguments, no compromising, no wondering if they’re telling the truth, no worrying about if they’re cheating, no having to spend extra money on dates all the time….and most importantly, I have the bed all to myself 😉 I do what I want, how I want, whenever I want, and it’s fabulous!

However, there is one thing that being in a relationship provides that a pet, a career, money, partying, a hobby (or anything else we single people focus on to take our minds off of being single) simply can not. Companionship! Now don’t get me wrong, pets can be great companions, and they can certainly alleviate the loneliness of a night at home alone. But no matter how much I may talk to my dog and ask for her input, she just never has anything to say. Lol.

I miss having that one person around that I can always talk to. Whether I’m sad, pissed off, happy, or insanely excited, it’s nice to have that one person who’s always just as happy to provide a listening ear as you are to have them listen. Now that I’m juggling school, work, and living alone on an incredibly tight budget, I find myself wishing that I had a companion’s shoulder to lean on. Yes, I have friends and family, and I certainly do use them. But, it’s not the same as talking to your significant other. This is my 3rd semester in school, and I’m learning that the semesters are not getting any easier. They’re actually getting more challenging. I can’t help but wish for a partner to keep me encouraged.

Thankfully though, I’ve learned to be my own life coach. Every moment I feel like I want to quit, I give myself a pep talk and remind myself that despite all the stress, hard work will always pay off in the end. So although I may long for a significant other from time to time, I know I don’t need one to keep me focused on my journey. Still, it sure would be nice sometimes to have someone along for the ride 🙂

What are your thoughts? If you’re single, what do you miss most about a relationship? What do you love most about being single? If you’re in a relationship, do you miss anything about being single? Toddley wants to know.

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